Patch Tuesday brings forth a sextet of security bulletins from our friends in Redmond, and users will want to get them in place quickly.

Good evening. I am Guillaume, your server for this evening. Do you like the Windows view? We feel it offers a tremendous Vista for our guests to view, especially in the distance where you can see the Longhorn in the fields.

We have three specials that Critics are raving about today. The first one, and we call them Critical Updates, monsieur, madame, comes from our famed Internet Explorer menu. It's a cumulative assortment of our finest fixes for the web browser. Our chefs assure us you do not wish to miss this selection, unless you wish to suffer the embarrassment of, ahem, remote code execution.



You'll pass on the panoply of enticements? No matter. Our second Critical is very modern, and corrects a fusion of remote code execution and local elevation of privilege. It is a plug and play vulnerability, madame, present in only our latest entrees: Windows 2000, XP, and 2003.

Mais oui, monsieur, you wish for something more traditional, a bit of the old school of Critical updates? Our third special today comes via the print spooler. And yes, remote code execution could result on 2000 SP 4, XP SP 1 and SP 2, and 2003.

Perhaps something from our prix fixe menu? We have an Important and two Moderate specials today! No? Very well. I understand.

Sigh. There goes another couple to the Happy Penguin Cafe.